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  • Scary Joke

    Late last Saturday night, a young chap was walking home from the pub.
    It was a wet and windy evening, and he was tired and cold.
    Most of the streetlights in the area were broken, and the silence was only broken by the occasional sound of a stray fox sifting through a dustbin.
    Suddenly he heard a strange noise ..



    BUMP........






    BUMP........





    BUMP........







    Startled, he turned around. To his amazement, through the driving rain he saw the faint outline of a large box turning into his road.





    BUMP........







    BUMP........







    BUMP........




    He froze to the spot. He couldn't believe his eyes.
    As the box approached from the shadows, he was able to make out its shape more clearly. It was a coffin.
    Not wanting anything to do with this, he put his head down and started walking briskly home.





    BUMP.........









    BUMP........










    BUMP........









    The coffin was gaining on him. He started walking faster.........








    BUMP.... BUMP.......












    BUMP........BUMP.......











    BUMP........BUMP........








    The coffin was closing with his every step. He started to jog, but he heard the coffin speed up after him ..






    BUMP... BUMP... BUMP...










    BUMP... BUMP... BUMP...









    BUMP... BUMP... BUMP...









    He started to sprint, but so did the coffin ....








    BUMP.... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP.....








    BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP.....









    BUMP... BUMP.... BUMP... BUMP.....






    Eventually he made it to his front door, but he knew the coffin was only seconds behind.
    Fumbling around in his pocket, he pulled out his keys, His hand trembling, he managed to open the lock.
    He dived inside, slamming the front door behind him. He shot into his front room, and slumped into his comfy chair.







    Suddenly there was a loud crash, as the coffin smashed its way through the front door.
    The force of the impact broke the lid off the coffin allowing it to swing freely on its rusty hinges as it continued the chase ...







    BUMP... SCREECH ... BUMP.... SCREECH...






    BUMP... SCREECH ... BUMP... SCREECH...








    BUMP... SCREECH ... BUMP... SCREECH...







    BUMP... SCREECH ... BUMP... SCREECH...








    In horror the young lad fled again, as fast as his shaking legs could take him. He bolted upstairs to the bathroom and locked the door ..







    BUMP... SCREECH .. HOP... BUMP... SCREECH ... HOP...







    BUMP.... SCREECH .. HOP... BUMP... SCREECH ... HOP...






    BUMP... SCREECH .. HOP... BUMP... SCREECH ... HOP...





    The coffin again gave chase up the stairs, across the landing and launched itself at the bathroom door.
    With an almighty smash, the bathroom door flew off its hinges ..





    The coffin stood in the doorway, then started to approach the young terrified lad.






    BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH...








    BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH...








    BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH...






    In a last ditch attempt to save his skin, he reached for his bathroom cabinet ...
    He grabbed a bar of Imperial Leather soap and threw it at the coffin ... still it came ........







    BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH...







    He grabbed his can of Lynx Africa deodorant and threw it .... still it came ...





    BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH...





    He grabbed his first aid kit and threw it ... still it came ..






    BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH...








    He grabbed some Benylin cough mixture and threw it ..









    The coffin stopped!

    sigpic

  • #2
    Mat

    Black RS500 resto http://www.escortrscosworth.com/foru...ead.php?t=8547

    Extended concours resto http://www.escortrscosworth.com/foru...hread.php?t=48

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    • #3
      Boooooooooooooooooooooo! Get off!
      Mike Rainbird

      Click above - Sarcasm is just a free service I provide.

      http://www.rsnorfolk.co.uk/

      Nordschleife, there's only two barriers to worry about - the ones on the left and the ones on the right .

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      • #4
        sigpic

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        • #5
          9 Words Women Use

          NINE WORDS WOMEN USE
          (1)Fine:This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

          (2)Five Minutes:If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

          (3)Nothing:This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

          (4)Go Ahead:This is a dare, not permission... Don't Do It!

          (5)Loud Sigh:This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

          (6)That's Okay:This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

          (7)Thanks:A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome'that will bring on a 'whatever').

          (8)Whatever:Is a woman's way of sayingF---YOU!

          (9)Don't worry about it, I got it:Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.
          sigpic

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          • #6
            thats funny

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            • #7

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              • #8

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                • #9
                  Just burnt me tea reading the first one! but it was funny

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                  • #10


                    Like the second one. So true
                    Paul Hales




                    1992 Pacifica Blue Escort Cosworth Stage 3 (My Toy)
                    2010 Performance Blue Focus RS

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